Fact: people make assumptions about women based on what we wear. This makes it infinitely harder not to put pressure on ourselves when it comes to choosing our outfits – from the brands we buy, to the purses we carry, down to the foundation garments – lingerie, that we slip into.
But wearing clothes that make us feel beautiful isn’t just about what people think about us. More than anything, it’s about feeling powerful in your own skin!
The garments you choose are simply a reflection of that inherent feeling. This is why we would do well to remember that clothes, lingerie especially, is so much more than just providing eye candy to anyone lucky enough to see you in it.
Lingerie empowers, but not just because the concept of lingerie tends to bring out your more sensuous side for a partner. What all women need to realize is that lingerie isn’t hinged on whether someone will see you in it or not. It’s for you to know that you have it on and the confidence that brings you.
In a piece published in the Huffington Post, psychologist Danielle Forshee explains that,
“Lingerie and sexy underwear have been historically viewed as being for the partner’s benefit only. But we’re in a time when women are empowering themselves, saying, ‘This is good enough just for me to wear.’ And we can wear it whenever we want for how we want to feel in that day and moment.”Daniell Forshee
There is empowerment in choosing practical cotton sets that clearly say you value functionality and buck societal beauty standards. There is empowerment in delicate ribbons and ruffles that highlight your femininity. There is empowerment in corsets and garters that spotlight your fierce confidence.
There is no point in binding yourself in lace and silk when you’re in the mood to be chill and modest. In the same way, why stop yourself from slipping into something racy and intricate when you’re in a flirty and playful mood?
The point is, lingerie is about us – the women who wear it. Almost endless options span the entire spectrum from elegantly practical to super-sexy. Lingerie is something that women should feel comfortable enough to wear and discuss in the same way we would the latest fashion or skincare trends.
It’s All About You
For most, the resistance to wear lingerie is due to several factors. Usually, we assume that it’s uncomfortable. Second, that we don’t need to bother because we’re single. Third, the belief that we will look ridiculous in all that frill. And finally, some of us believe that we don’t deserve beautiful things, especially lingerie.
Let’s change that.
When it comes to lingerie, how you feel about yourself is more important than your relationship status, or your internalized beauty standards. Plus, you’d be surprised at how good lingerie brands can actually make you feel every bit as comfortable in a lacy pushup as you would in a sports bra.
Carolyn Mair, author of The Psychology of Fashion expounds on the relationship between lingerie and your confidence.
“Wearing nice quality underwear or lingerie sets boost our confidence and self-esteem, even if no one sees it. Feeling confident can make us appear more physically attractive because we tend to stand, walk, speak and gesticulate differently.”Carolyn Mair
If you have to take baby steps towards this idea that lingerie should be part of your wardrobe, if only because of the confidence it lends, then so be it. Just keep the following in mind:
- Start by choosing basic colors. Black, white and nude are staples. The red will come 🙂
- Make sure you choose the right size. Trust the expertise of the brand, don’t be embarrassed to ask questions or ask for help.
- Choose the right shape for your body type. Every woman is different.
- Build your lingerie collection slowly. Start with one set and if you like how it makes you feel, then get another one. If you’re feeling more adventurous, choose another one in a different fabric or style outside of your comfort zone. You’ll soon find something that fits your style and personality perfectly.
- Remember to think of lingerie shopping as self-care. Browsing through shops or checking out styles online is a way for you celebrate your own style and femininity.
Don’t ever apologize or downplay your choices. Whatever lingerie you opt for, remember that this is all about you – not anyone else. You have what it takes to be powerful and confident. Your choice of lingerie says so. That’s the only validation you need.
Beautiful lingerie is a celebration of your body. Visit My Secret Drawer to check out styles in an extensive range of styles, fabrics and flattering fits.
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