Do you remember those strange, almost unimaginable days toward the end of March?
For many, that was when the pandemic became more real – and more imminent – than they had first thought it would be.
Much of the world was just a week or two into what would soon become a near global lockdown. The assumption was that couples would be at each other like rabbits.
What else would couples do, trapped indoors with little – other than each other -for days on end? Some experts were predicting a baby boom. The notion wasn’t at all improbable.
But it soon became clear to many that life in the grip of a planet-spanning pandemic was not the aphrodisiac scientists had forecast.
By May, the Kinsey Institute had reported some 44 percent of couples had observed a decline in their sex lives. Thirty percent said the same about their romantic lives.
In China, meanwhile, divorce rates seemed to be climbing, too, even as less and less people were getting married.
Is the web of uncertainty, pressure and stress working against your relationship?
How to Rekindle Your Sex Life During Lockdown
Now, just as vaccines are on the horizon, a second wave of COVID outbreaks makes another round of stay-at-home orders seem inevitable for many regions.
So, for countless couples, the question is, “How to make the best of the situation and boost our sex life and relationship in case of another lockdown”?
Below are four suggestions to help keep the flame burning through the pandemic and beyond.
1. Relax and cultivate desire together.
As crucial as keeping track of the pandemic is, getting too bogged down in news and current events can be stressful. Let’s face it, day after day of bad news can be very depressing.
The more stressed – let alone depressed – you are, the less likely you two will enjoy having sex with each other.
“Worrying about the health and wellbeing of loved ones, financial instability, job insecurity, and total global upheaval and pandemic panic is not exactly an aphrodisiac,” says sex expert Alix Fox, a writer and broadcaster.
That’s why it’s important to find ways to cope with any fears and anxieties you might encounter during periods of lockdown.
Experts suggest you incorporate meditation or mindfulness techniques into your daily routine. Disconnect from the news, your email account, and social media from time to time.
Clear your mind. Exercise, take long baths, or give each other massages.
Try different forms of self-care and work out which ones work for both of you.
This is vital because it permits you opportunities to be relaxed, in the moment, and completely focused on each other.
2. Enjoy a romantic date night at home.
Many relationship therapists have suggested that couples should try planning date nights at home.
That might sound silly or far-fetched at first glance, but then there’s really no reason why you two should forego a satisfying romantic evening – especially at home.
Use your imagination. Be creative and have fun planning your romantic evening. For some, this might involve cooking a favorite meal together.
You can also try ordering takeout or delivery from a special restaurant. Or you can enjoy wine or cocktails while you watch the sunset or listen to music.
To increase the odds of success, be sure you both approach the evening like any other date night. That means showering, grooming, and dressing like you would if you were going out on the town.
3. Spice-up your sex life by trying something new.
When it comes to sex, human beings are inherently turned on by novelty and newness, says psychologist Justin Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute.
“We grow bored of sexual routines easily,” he says, adding that couples can channel this need for freshness by trying new bedroom activities.
Don’t be afraid to be a little daring, goofy, and playful. Drive your man wild in sexy, satin lingerie. The padded cups are perfect for showing off your cleavage.
Don’t stop there. Have sex in different parts of the house for a change – and bring that camera along, too, if you’re both into it.
Now is quite possibly the best time to get kinky together. Explore your fantasies. Let go of your inhibitions.
Studies show that couples who make new additions to their sexual activities are more likely to have satisfying sex lives.
Researchers claim that those same couples are three times more likely to emerge from lockdown with stronger, more loving relationships.
4. Try incorporating toys into your bedroom romps.
While you’re at it, why not do a little online shopping for a sex toy? Fox says many couples used sex toys to enhance their bedroom play during the first round of lockdowns.
This is supported by a surge in sex toy sales beginning in March. The same is true for toys for role play and BDSM, “which speak to bored couples looking for something fresh,” she says.
Lehmiller agrees, suggesting that sex toys can add an extra element of novelty to masturbation and partnered sex. That might just be what you and your partner need to get in the mood right now.
Novelty can help to create a more exciting and immersive sexual experience – one that offers distraction and escape.
“Put another way, novelty can help to take you out of your head and allow you to focus on pleasure instead of the pandemic,” says Lehmiller.
Why Affection Matters
Our intimate lives face unprecedented challenges in these times of social distancing and isolation. Many couples may feel as though their sex lives and relationships are declining.
Not even the strongest relationships are exempt from doubt every now and then. But nothing stops you from making an effort to rekindle whatever spark you may think your relationship might have lost over the past year.
Recent research shows couples who engage in more after-sex affection, who cuddle and engage in intimate conversation, tend to be more satisfied with their sex lives and relationships.
That’s true in conditions under lockdown or otherwise.
In fact, when sexual activity is down, these physical demonstrations of trust and fondness might be more important than ever in sustaining intimate connections.
After all, nothing keeps a couple in touch better than touching.
Feature Photo Credit: Wallhere
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