Some people like strange sex. Others are just strange about sex.
In many – hopefully most – places around the world, people are starting to assume a more relaxed and tolerant attitude toward our favorite subject. But even as many are learning to enjoy the freedom that comes with sexual openness, some seem determined to keep sex on the ‘straight and narrow.’
How do the powers-that-be keep bedlam from reigning in an increasingly free and permissive society? Dubai nips it in the bud by having a total ban on kissing in public. Does that extend to pecking junior on teh cheek when dropping him at school?
Meanwhile, in Utah, there’s an embargo on even ‘acting sexy’! Whoa… who wants to try to define ‘acting sexy’?
It seems that wowser legislators around the world are more than a little befuddled by the task before them.
Strange Sex, Stranger Laws
Below are some of the strangest laws on sex and sexual behavior from around the world. Some of these laws are obvious relics of a bygone era, others are the result of recent legislative action.
Chances are you’ll never do any jail time for breaking any of them, no matter how much traveling and humping you do. But then it’s always good to know the lay of the legal landscape when one is on foreign soil.
1. Clowns and Horses in Massachusetts
In Massachusetts, you can be jailed for screwing a rodeo clown in the presence of horses. The truly bizarre law was reported on Fox News not long ago. Some suspect this might have something to do with a real incident sometime in the distant past. The law still stands, though.
2. Kissing Your Spouse in Public in Dubai
Couples can hold hands in public in Dubai, but that’s as far as it goes. You cannot kiss your spouse or partner in any public setting in the city emirate. To do so could mean charges of public indecency. That can earn you ten days jail time. If you happen to be drunk at the time of the offense, your jail time can go up to a year!
We’d love to know what the time served would be for a male who dared to drink and drive but it’s sure to be less than a year!
3. You’re Too Sexy for Utah
If you are ever in Utah, be sure to remember never to act sexy in public. Yes, open sexiness has been outlawed in Utah after state legislators passed a law in 2011. The law is part of a major crackdown on prostitution throughout the state and includes a ban on touching oneself “sexually” in public.
Critics have decried the ambiguous language of the law, pointing out that it was open to enormous misinterpretation. But Utah’s lawmakers have stood their ground, so far.
4. Lights Out in Hungary
Outrage over sexual freedom still crops up in certain places in Hungary, too. Some Hungarians simply don’t like anything beyond heterosexual, marital intercourse in the missionary position. But even that has its limits. In Budapest, married couples are prohibited by law from having sex – missionary or otherwise – with the lights on!
5. Checkmate in Estonia
If you love to play chess and are ever in Tallinn, Estonia, do keep in mind that you cannot play the game while having sex there. The people of Tallinn are avid chess fans, too. But Estonian lawmakers want their people to be completely dedicated to their partner, and so they’ve banned the game during sex.
Chess does tend to divide one’s attention, after all.
6. No Nudity in Singapore
In Singapore, it’s illegal to walk around nude if you’re in a private place that’s in public view. This includes standing in front of your window. The government of Singapore says, “a person appearing nude includes a person who is clad in such a manner as to offend against public decency or order,” so sexy underwear and kinky costumes are probably a no-no, too.
7. Censored Porn in Japan
By Japanese law, any legally produced pornography must censor the genitals of actors and actresses. This law covers hentai comics, video games, and anime. To evade this particular kind of censorship, porn producers have featured subject matter previously unseen in western pornography. These include bukkake, gokkun, omorashi, and tentacle erotica.
8. No Gay Sex in Singapore
Up until 2007, you could go to jail for engaging in oral or anal sex in Singapore. Both acts have since been legalized in the small city-state, provided that the parties concerned are consenting adult heterosexuals.
However, the ban still stands for gay couples, who – if caught – risk charges of “gross indecency.” The offense carries a maximum penalty of two years in jail. Homophobic legislators?
9. Parking Violation in London
Motorcyclists in London have been having a rough time with Sadiq Khan’s latest Transport Strategy, which they claim puts lives in danger. Among the strategy’s many rules is an ordinance that reportedly makes it illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle anywhere in the city. Does the city award you a medal for managing to perform the deed on a moving motorcycle?
And can we assume that it’s OK to have sex in a parked car in the middle of Piccadilly Square?
10. Flat Tire Violation in Cottonwood, Arizona
The lawmakers of Cottonwood, Arizona, saw fit to pass local legislation banning couples from having sex in vehicles with flat tires. If law enforcers happen to catch you in the act, you will have to pay a fine. If you happen to be in the backseat, the fine will be doubled!
Ok… that is weird!
Better Safe than Sorry?
Of course, many of these laws are hardly enforced nowadays. For instance, few people expect the ban on gay sex in Singapore to be anything more than a gesture to appease the conservative status quo. (Singapore does have a thriving gay community.)
But you can never be certain. Something as innocent as a cheeky smooch could see you slapped with a hefty fine.
In 2007, an Indian court ordered the arrest of Hollywood star Richard Gere for kissing Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty at an AIDS campaign event. Many commentators had subsequently expressed their disapproval over what they said were fringe groups making a mountain of a harmless peck on the cheek.
Still, if you’re headed abroad with your partner or are considering a little holiday romance, you might want to brush up on local laws before the flight.
What’s your story? Do you know of any weird or archaic laws? Have you been caught up in any? Why not share your thoughts by commenting on and reviewing this story?
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