The New York Times is famous for its punchy, attention-grabbing headlines. Ten years ago, the newspaper ran a story with a headline that – for some – has proven impossible to forget: “18 orgies later, Chinese swinger gets prison bed.”
The story was about a nondescript, 53-year-old man named Ma Yaohai, a computer-science professor who lived with his mother. In China, he was best known by his Internet handle: Roaring Virile Fire.
Roaring Virile Fire was something of a dissident. The Chinese government had sentenced him to three and half years in prison for a little-known offense called “crowd licentiousness.”
That is the legal term that Chinese prosecutors use to describe an array of unlawful sexual activities that include wife-swapping and group sex.
In the case of Mr. Ma, the seditious act of licentiousness involved orgies he’d organized in the two-bedroom apartment he shared with his elderly mother.
“Swinging is like wine,” the randy professor told reporters after his sentencing. “Some people feel it’s delicious the first time they try it, so they keep drinking.”
Crowd licentiousness is not a crime in many other parts of our big, beautiful, horny world. But social distancing guidelines have made parties like those once organized by Roaring Virile Fire more than a little difficult to emulate.
That is, of course, only if you are among the few people in the world who don’t own either a laptop or a smartphone.
Otherwise, you can always join one of the countless cybersex parties now flourishing in digital spaces all over the internet.
Online Sex Parties are a Flourishing Trend
For some months now, sex party organizers, porn stars, social media celebrities, and webcam models have been hosting online sex parties of every kind.
The fad appears to be reaching some kind of crescendo as more and more folks look to the internet for sexual release in the midst of lockdowns.
Some of the cyber gatherings are small and intimate. Others attract people by the dozens, each wanting to experience some of the excitement, anticipation, and wild abandon of real-life orgies.
Many apparently find the activity quite satisfying. Recent research on cybersex shows it can enhance people’s sex lives by enabling exploration of fantasies they may not feel comfortable pursuing in real life.
People who use webcamming gain a genuine sense of emotional connection and sexual gratification, too, according to studies conducted by the Kinsey Institute in Indiana.
Joining an Online Sex Club
Joining an online sex party is easy. The Manhattan-based club New Society for Wellness (NFSW) offers a less expensive online version of its sex parties starting at $10 per party, or $50 per month.
New members have to fill out a questionnaire to see if their values are line with those espoused by the club. But once you’re accepted, you can attend parties tailored to your specific taste and kink.
On the other side of the pond, England’s Purple Mamba Club has moved its parties and sex workshops online, along with its other, more casual social events.
Killing Kittens, another English party club and company, launched its online “social network for sexual exploration” in 2017 and its web app has just undergone an overhaul. In addition to the app, the club has two mobile chat apps in the pipeline, too.
If you find the idea of joining an online club unnerving, you can always try the popular group sex app Feeld.
The clever, fun-loving people behind the app have added new features for long-distance socializing, including group chats that can accommodate up to 40 people.
Starting Your Own Private Party
Of course, you may already know a bunch of like-minded, orgy-loving folks. In that case starting an online sex party of your own should simply be a matter of coordinating your Google calendars and finding the right platform.
The latter is where things might get a little thorny. Zoom has started cracking down on nudity using artificial intelligence and Skype has a supposedly strict no-nudity policy.
Google Hangouts has become a popular sex party platform. Just remember that your account is linked to your Gmail and any other websites you’ve signed into with your Google account!
Remember, too, that online sex brings risks along with benefits. Many of the former are well-documented.
Sharing erotic images or videos carries the risk of unwanted exposure though non-consensual means, such as “revenge pornography.”
This is in keeping with concerns about data hacking, consent, and inappropriate monitoring by the tech companies that run the platforms. So, your best bet, in this case, is to create a separate account for your online escapades.
“Basically, use discretion,” says Toronto-based writer, Ana Firtzpatrick, in an article for Vice. “The more you advertise your party, the more susceptible you’ll be to getting shut down.”
The risks mean rules are necessary. That includes being mindful of people with whom you share a living space, especially if they haven’t consented to joining a sex party by proximity.
Be sure to lock your doors. Inform your housemates that you need privacy before jumping into a party. You don’t want them bursting into your room to inquire if you want pizza for dinner.
Getting Your Party Started
As for the party itself, treat it like you would an in-person sex party. Don’t send nudes directly to another person without their consent, and respect the “ask once” rule. That is, leave a person alone if he or she says no.
Regular sex party rules about pictures should apply, too. “Don’t take screenshots of people,” warns Fitzpatrick. “Don’t record people without their consent.”
These will all help ensure that you – and others – are protected.
That said, there really is no way to guarantee your privacy from hackers who might crash or record the party. Only you – and your significant other, if applicable – can decide the level of risk you’re willing to take.
Maybe you’re more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist. If so, ask your friends if you can turn your camera off altogether.
This is fairly common at events hosted by NSFW, at which only about 30 percent of the attendees show their faces.
If you want to be doubly safe, wear a sexy mask. That just might even help you create a mysterious persona, which many find thrilling.
To add even more spice to your online adventure, throw on that sexy piece of lingerie you wear for special occasions.
If you’re hosting, then it would be a good idea to make sure everyone shows up by a certain time to go over the rules. This can also serve as an ideal moment for guests to get to know each other.
Sometimes all it takes is one daring individual or couple to make a move, and then the real party begins.
If it’s your party, then it may as well be you.
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