{"id":91,"date":"2020-09-09T03:13:25","date_gmt":"2020-09-09T03:13:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stories.mysecretdrawer.co\/2020\/09\/09\/the-art-of-stealing-someone-elses-man\/"},"modified":"2020-09-09T03:13:25","modified_gmt":"2020-09-09T03:13:25","slug":"the-art-of-stealing-someone-elses-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/the-art-of-stealing-someone-elses-man\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Stealing Someone Else\u2019s Man"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

As Oscar Wilde famously said, “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!” In so saying, Wilde was expressing the titillating quandary of willful sinners everywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It sounds deliciously wicked – and very familiar to me, and I’m sure, to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve all gone through moments when we simply couldn\u2019t resist doing what we knew to be wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But unlike falling for that extra slice of chocolate pecan pie, stealing someone else’s man is a temptation best resisted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can – and will \u2013 make some simple but truly compelling arguments as to why you shouldn\u2019t steal someone else\u2019s man. That said, if you arrived here via Mr. Google – and you\u2019re still reading this, you’ve probably already made up your mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"The
The desire to steal someone else’s boyfriend is a temptation you should always resist.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Once You’ve Decided to Steal Him \u2026<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Maybe you\u2019ve sensed that he isn\u2019t averse to the idea – the way he looks deep into your eyes when no one is looking. Or maybe his touch is surprisingly frequent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or just maybe, you\u2019ve already fallen for him and you’re pretty much beyond caring about anything else!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can justify what you\u2019re about to do whichever way you want. That\u2019s beside the point now. Now it\u2019s time to act \u2013 and to act decisively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis isn’t your regular play-with-your-hair-and-giggle-at-his-dumb-jokes flirting,\u201d says the writer and photographer Mindy Strouse for Outside Left<\/em>. \u201cThis kind of flirting will take all the resources and skills you can muster.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll need to prepare for a fight that gets really ugly, really dirty, really fast.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll probably discover things about yourself you won\u2019t like, but since you are determined to push through, that shouldn\u2019t bother you, either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 1: Know the competition, then know the prey.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

First things first. In order to lure this man into your trap, you must first assess and familiarize yourself with the competition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need to get to know his girlfriend. Then you need to learn all about him through her. If it that sounds like a dirty, despicable move, that\u2019s because it is. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Talk to her. Get to know her. Make an honest inventory of her good and bad traits, then match the good ones. If she wears miniskirts, push-up bras, and high-heels, you start wearing miniskirts, push-up bras, and high-heels, too. If she’s a good cook, learn to be a great one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don’t think that you\u2019ll snag him by being the opposite of his girlfriend. He\u2019s with her precisely because she has qualities he likes in a woman. He probably doesn’t want someone who is the total reverse of his current partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, in one 2011 study, researchers found that people rated opposite-sex faces more attractive when they closely resembled their current or most recent partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"You
You need to get to know his girlfriend, then you need to learn all about him through her.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Step 2: Get rid of his conscience.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If this man is as fantastic as you think, then chances are he has something like a conscience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s not good – well, at least, not for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While he may have already shown signs that he\u2019s attracted to you, that doesn\u2019t mean he\u2019s prepared to do something about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your first priority is to relieve him of as much of guilt as possible. One way to do this is to pretend you’re in a relationship, as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, you must make it clear to him that you are in a bad relationship. Your boyfriend mistreats you. He doesn’t respect you and he cheats on you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The point here is to trigger your prey\u2019s protective instincts. A study undertaken by post-doctoral students at New York University shows that people – men, especially – are hard-wired to protect women. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The relationship expert, James Bauer, calls it the male \u201chero instinct,\u201d and quite convincingly claims that all men have it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use that masculine predisposition to your advantage. This doesn\u2019t mean you need to come across as weak. While you may not need a hero, you want to allow him the opportunity to feel like one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You need him to want<\/em> to be everything your imaginary boyfriend is not. Do this right and you\u2019ll both be ready to move on to the next step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Men
Men are hard-wired to protect women<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Step 3: Look good when you\u2019re around him.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Men are visual, and their brains have evolved to objectify women. That sounds utterly disgusting, but science will back me up. Practically all the scientific literature studying men\u2019s arousal patterns repeatedly emphasize their sensitivity to erotic visual cues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cExposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates the parts of their brain related to getting an erection,\u201d says psychologist Leon Seltzer of Queens College and Cleveland State University.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men have difficulty overriding that part of their anatomical circuitry. The fact is, the sexual motivation pathways in the male brain have more connections to the subcortical reward system than the female brain. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Simply put, they can\u2019t help themselves. When it comes to women, they do often think with their eyes and that organ between their legs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Men
Men are visual, and their brains have evolved to objectify women.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

That means you need to look your best and most inviting when you\u2019re around him. Be sexy. Be available. That\u2019s basic. Keep your shoulders back, chin up, and make eye contact. Look deep into his eyes when you speak to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be poised and quietly confident, too. Try to feel good about yourself, despite your – how shall we put it? – less than honorable intentions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember, what you wear underneath that miniskirt and blouse matter just as much. Wear the sexiest pieces of lingerie<\/a> in your secret drawer. He won\u2019t get to see them yet but he\u2019ll certainly notice that sassy skip in your step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You will need to adjust your speech patterns around his. Incorporate some of his more subtle verbal mannerisms into yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t overdo it. He might take that for mockery. Instead, take note of his pauses and pace, his expressions, and try to slip them into your own manner of speaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Wear<\/a>
Wear the sexiest pieces of lingerie in your secret drawer.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Step 4: Speak like him.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Recent studies have found that subtly mimicking the verbal and nonverbal behavior of people enhances their readiness to like you. This behavioral tic is particularly true of men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gathering data from speed dating events, scientists have found that men reacted more positively to women who mimicked them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMimicry appears to influence perceptions of physical attributes in addition to personal and social attributes,\u201d says psychologist Nicolas Gueguen of Universit\u00e9 Bretagne Sud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Recent
Recent studies have found that subtly mimicking the verbal and nonverbal behavior of people enhances their readiness to like you.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Step 5: Give him a little nudge in your direction.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s be candid. You don\u2019t need to be a rocket scientist to get a man to want to have sex with you. If he is as smart as you think, he must have already sensed that you are open to an affair by this stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But since you\u2019re looking for more than just a fling with this person, you\u2019ll need to turn up your flirting game another notch. You need to touch him as artfully as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSeveral research studies have found that touching creates liking and attraction,\u201d says psychologist Jeremy Nicholson. \u201cIn other words, when you touch other people, they tend to become more attracted to you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, making the contact too overtly sexual may backfire on you. Grabbing him might lead him to think you\u2019re having some kind of mental episode. Smothering him with your boobs may get you laid – but it\u2019s unlikely to land you a boyfriend. No, what you need to arrange is the occasional \u201caccidental\u201d or \u201cinnocent\u201d contact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Several
Several research studies have found that touching creates liking and attraction, say experts.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In a crowded room, or when you make your way through a crush of people in a queue, brush your arm against his chest. When you\u2019re at dinner among friends, let your knees graze under the table – just a quick, gentle, seemingly unintentional bump.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have done everything right, then he will likely reciprocate. When he does, do not allow yourself to give in to the temptation of becoming more daring with your physical probing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, you should stop initiating contact altogether. Let the pot simmer. Let him stew in his own confused juices for a while. He\u2019ll eventually come calling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMen are natural-born hunters – they like the thrill of the chase,\u201d says author Jordan Christy, who has written extensively about relationships. \u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s why boys like to race cars, bid on worthless eBay junk, and go hunting in the woods.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\"When
When you\u2019re at dinner among friends, let your knees graze under the table.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Now Here\u2019s Why You Should Think Twice<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

By now, he wants you. If you\u2019ve gone through the steps outlined above as cleverly and as artfully as you should, he\u2019s salivating. There isn\u2019t much left for you to do. So just sit back and enjoy as he goes for the bait. You\u2019ve already made your move. Now it\u2019s time to let him make his.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should, however, take note of a few things at this point. People in relationships where one partner stole the other from someone else are “less committed, less satisfied, and less invested.” That\u2019s according to a study published in the Journal of Research in Personality<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Sit
Sit back and enjoy as he goes for the bait.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Moreover, the study found that people who allowed themselves to be stolen were often narcissistic and generally less concerned for the well-being of others. That makes sense. He did hurt the woman who trusted him, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That doesn\u2019t sound like a man worthy of stealing in the first place, does it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And, of course, with al the changes you have made to attract him to you, are you still ‘you’?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can’t say we did warn you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What’s your story? Have you been the predator or the prey? Why not share your experiences with us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

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The desire to steal someone else’s boyfriend is a temptation you should always resist. But if you’ve already made up your mind, at least do it right.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17,43,20],"tags":[121,127],"class_list":["post-91","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples","category-lifestyle","category-seduction","tag-mate-poaching","tag-seduction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=91"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/92"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=91"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=91"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=91"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}