{"id":7602,"date":"2023-12-15T01:11:51","date_gmt":"2023-12-15T01:11:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stories.mysecretdrawer.co\/?p=7602"},"modified":"2024-10-19T00:47:22","modified_gmt":"2024-10-19T00:47:22","slug":"can-foreplay-be-better-than-sex-what-science-and-psychology-say-will-amaze-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/can-foreplay-be-better-than-sex-what-science-and-psychology-say-will-amaze-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Can Foreplay Be Better Than Sex? What Science and Psychology Say Will Amaze You!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
Intimacy before sex \u2013 or foreplay \u2013 is any sexual activity that happens before sexual intercourse. On that, we can probably all agree. But can it be better than sex?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Psychologists and researchers suggest a deep social and cultural disconnect between the chemistry of lovemaking and our perception of what constitutes the sexual act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apparently, many among us think that intimacy before sex is subordinate to the act of sexual penetration. But equally as many say otherwise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can Foreplay Be Better Than Sex?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The reasons behind the contrary views are quite complicated. But the basic premise that psychologists have suggested is that we\u2019ve been taught \u2013 by religion, by society, and by certain segments of pop culture – that the reason people have sex is to have babies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dissenting views and lifestyles<\/a> \u2013 those that embrace the idea that sex is fun and enjoyable in and of itself – have only recently begun to emerge openly in public discourse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That is because \u2013 while we are an exceptionally daring species when it comes to sex and its enjoyment – people also have typical behaviors. And culture and religion have had a particularly powerful influence over these behaviors, most psychologists agree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In many ways, we\u2019ve been indoctrinated into accepting that intimacy before sex is just a means toward an end. The real point of sexual pleasure – as the prevailing popular wisdom would have it – is procreation, and nothing else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But are those sexy, sinfully steamy moments during that long, heart-poundingly torrid dance of intimacy before sex truly of lesser relevance to the sexual experience?<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s Not All Touchy-Feely<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Foreplay is one of those uniquely human experiences that gathers complexity along the way. From courtship and flirting to kissing and touching and getting messy between the sheets \u2013 all that is delicious, heart-pounding, intoxicating intimacy before sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The activities of intimacy before sex comprise those little wonderful sexy, sparks that ignite our passion and deepen our connections. The quiet chuckling, the private jokes, the glances, the smiles \u2013 these all make the sexual encounter a shared experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s not all touchy-feely, mind you. Foreplay begins long before the physical act of intercourse. It is in those small moments when two people engage each other with emotional depth, psychological arousal, and physical exploration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Warm, Sweet, and Dirty <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThose warm – or dirty- words spoken to each other as he is getting ready to go to work, is what the two of you will remember all day,\u201d says Moushumi Ghose, a licensed marriage and family therapist who practices in California.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Those moments satisfy not just the body, but also the heart<\/a> and mind. They are the cornerstones of every relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cJust because you have to rush off, feed the kids, and take them to school and \u2026 there is absolutely no time for sex does not mean your day-to-day cannot be gently infused with tiny visions of feathers and lingerie, or leather and whips if that is what you like,\u201d says Ghose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That is because the intricacies of foreplay emerge in those sometimes overt, sometimes subtle activities people enjoy doing with each other on a daily basis. It is in all the ways we share ourselves with our partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n These important moments. Most psychologists and relationship experts agree that people find a sense of security in their relationships in the sexy closeness people enjoy with each other outside the bedroom. For many out there, that\u2019s of superior importance to mere coitus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cForeplay is not just about physical touch,\u201d says Melissa Stone, a psychologist who has a practice in Massachusetts. “It’s also about creating a sense of connection and intimacy between partners.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, a dinner conversation \u2013 a form of intimacy before sex – has extraordinary powers to excite. Because our neurons are so sensitive to face-to-face engagements<\/a>, they rapidly activate reward systems in our brains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If You\u2019re a Woman, \u201cYes, Oh Yes, Foreplay Can be Better than Sex!\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The intense emotional intimacy during such occasions as a couple\u2019s night out raises eagerness and wanting. It creates an environment of mutual understanding and respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n These complex, intricately entangled, and minute factors significantly enhance the overall sexual experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In fact, for some, penetrative sex doesn\u2019t need to be in the bag if you don\u2019t want it. Great foreplay can be good enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n “It’s particularly important for women to have successful foreplay because it takes a woman a longer time to get up to the level of arousal needed to orgasm,” says Karola \u201cDoctor Ruth\u201d Westheimer, a psychosexual therapist and professor at New York University.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s because for women, intimacy before sex serves a physical and emotional purpose. Foreplay and its accouterments prepare a woman\u2019s mind and body for coitus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n These natural fluids are important for pleasurable intercourse. They are a basic ingredient rather than mere hors d’oeuvres for the main course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What Faking It Tells Us About the \u201cShortcomings\u201d of Penetrative Sex<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n “Blood flows into the clitoris, and in order for a woman to have an orgasm, there must be lubrication in the vagina, but also the clitoris must get erect,” says Doctor Ruth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The delicious tension that builds between partners during foreplay increases desire and heightens arousal to the point that it can become the highlight of the experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For instance, there is an entire industry devoted to encouraging foreplay and the playful lubrication of the vagina. One only needs to consider the thriving industry of edible vaginal lubricants to get an idea as to the significance of foreplay in lovemaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n