If you\u2019ve ever entertained fantasies of engaging in a bit of bondage, then you\u2019re definitely not alone. Booksellers sold over 100 million copies of the Fifty Shades<\/em> trilogy worldwide, allowing countless women to indulge in the same fantasies. But the transition between fantasy and actual bedroom bondage can be tricky. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many people are put off experimenting with shibari because they don\u2019t know how to broach the subject with their partners. Sex expert Jessica Wilde recommends getting hold of some erotic fiction, or maybe a DVD to watch in the comfort of your own home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlant the seed in your partner\u2019s mind that it might be something you want to try,\u201d says Wilde. \u201cGetting them used to the idea might change their perspective a little bit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As it is when you engage in any new sexual experience, communicating your boundaries and hard limits prior to beginning is a must. Develop a safe word and be clear about what you want and don’t want. Discuss the rules of submission and dominance in detail: how much to take, how much to give, when to stop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When a Shibari scene is performed in public with appropriate ambiance, sexual arousal often becomes visible in the receiver.
(Photo: Davide MaestroBD La Greca\/Wikimedia Commons)<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Getting Started<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause rope bondage involves restraint and power dynamics, the person being tied may not express boundaries clearly,\u201d says Ryan. \u201cFor that reason, be sure to have a clear discussion beforehand about what you both want out of the experience, what is on and off the table, and how you\u2019ll communicate if there is an issue.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once you have established boundaries, familiarize yourselves with basics of the practice. Learn how to tie a \u201csingle-column tie.\u201d That\u2019s the foundation of shibari, says rope expert Jonathan Ryan. Follow this link for a **video tutorial<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n**
**Do some research. There are** websites<\/strong><\/a> that offer general education about shibari from trained educators. Experts recommend that you start with a floor tie rather than going straight into suspension, says Rucifer. This ensures that you practice the proper methods before going all-out into in-air suspension bedroom acrobatics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have the tools and bindings ready. Make sure you have safety sheers on hand, too, and a safe and comfortable space to play. Shibari afficionados say the ideal material for binding is jute because it\u2019s a strong natural fiber, but hemp and cotton will work, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
$\"Experts$
Experts recommend that you start with a floor tie rather than going straight into suspension.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Collaboration and Purpose<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Remember, shibari is as much a philosophy as it is a sexual experience. For most practitioners, the use of rope bondage never includes an unwilling victim. Instead, there is a collaboration and agreed purpose between the rigger and the bunny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Beyond pleasure, the objective is to create a combination of effects including visual beauty, power exchange, helplessness, relaxation, and both submissive and dominant physiological experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For Kok, the heightened sense of power and submission that shibari offers teaches humility and a gentle consideration for others. \u201cSince becoming an artist I\u2019ve tried very hard not to feel the need to have the last word,” he says, “to not think that I\u2019m most important – to gain a full understanding of what it means to be responsible for something.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now that’s definitely good Ki for your kinky. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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