\u201cI got really skilled at turning oral sex from an arbitrary aspect of foreplay into something that I codified,\u201d he says. \u201cI became deeply aware of how to satisfy a woman.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>
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The Virtues of a Gentleman\u2019s Tongue<\/h2>
The licensed sex therapist later became so committed to teaching proper oral sex technique that he wrote a book about it in 2004. Now, at age 53, Kerner has become a widely-acknowledged expert<\/a> on the subject.<\/p> In his book, \u201cShe Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman,\u201d<\/em> he offers some useful guidance to anyone seeking to please a woman with cunnilingus.<\/p> To begin with, and often most innocently, Kerner says a lack of proper motivation hinders performance. For this reason, his first and foremost advice to lovers is sincerity and enthusiasm. <\/p> This is important because both are unmistakable indications of desire. Indeed, these days, it’s often difficult to tell whether people really like us or whether they are simply being attentive out of a sense of duty. <\/p> Women are thus accorded an extraordinary opportunity to feel comfortable in their own skins in the company of willing and enthusiastic lovers. <\/p> \u201cWhen I talk to women about why they’re uncomfortable about sex, it usually comes down to issues around genital self- esteem,” Kerner says, “feeling like their vulvas may look funny, taste funny, smell funny or they\u2019re worried that men don’t really do ‘that’ and you’re just doing it as a service.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote> This is why he suggests that a man going down on a woman should actually express how much he enjoys giving her oral pleasure. <\/p> Beyond the act itself, Kerner says women will derive pleasure from being desired and wanted in this way.<\/p> How and when a woman is positioned to accept her lover\u2019s attention is of equal importance. Kerner advises against the 69 position and face-sitting.<\/p> Despite what we\u2019ve seen in porn and movies, a woman in the throes of passion rarely arches her spine. This position hampers breathing and \u201ccuts blood flow to the vagina,\u201d Kerner declares.<\/p> Instead, she should be flat on her back, legs sufficiently spread but not too far apart, her genitals tilted slightly up. \u201cAs a rule, her legs should always be closer together than farther apart, as she needs the full command of her pelvic muscles,\u201d says Kerner.<\/p> He is also adamant that a good lover should distinguish between oral sex and foreplay.<\/p> If you want to bring your partner to orgasm with your mouth, you should learn how to build up to the moment, creating anticipation as you do.<\/p> Slow your pace and be thoughtful, kissing and touching a woman\u2019s body to generate excitement and expectation before your tongue heads south, Kerner advises.<\/p> The act of introducing your tongue to the clitoris should mark the supreme moment when tension and anticipation are finally resolved.<\/p> \u201cIt\u2019s really important to get the body and the nervous system sensitized to levels of arousal where that kind of direct stimulation of the clitoris is wanted,\u201d Kerner told GQ <\/em>recently.<\/p> Needless to say – but I will, understanding a woman’s anatomy is the key to success.<\/p> The clitoris isn\u2019t just a love button of tissue and flesh above the vagina. This marvelous gift of evolution is, in fact, a deep, wishbone-shaped area bristling with sensitive nerve endings that respond to consistent stimulation, says Kerner.<\/p> Women are real winners here. Their clitoris has twice<\/em> as many nerve endings as the male counterpart, the penis. While men have around 4,000 women have 8,000! And all those nerve endings are ready, willing and waiting to be unleashed with the right technique. Lucky girls!<\/p> Too often, men change pace or position right before a woman is about to climax. The sudden shift in register makes it incredibly difficult for a woman to actually stay aroused.<\/p> That’s because, unlike men who reach a point when orgasm is inevitable, Kerner says women require persistent and continuous clitoral motivation.<\/p> \u201cYou need to get your whole face in there,\u201d says Kerner. \u201cIf a filmmaker were capturing the event, very little would be seen beyond the still back of your head.\u201d<\/p>1. Sincerity and Enthusiasm<\/h3>
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2. Position and Sensitivity<\/h3>
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3. Knowledge and Persistence<\/h3>
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4. Stillness and Consistency<\/h3>
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