{"id":153,"date":"2020-11-18T03:21:13","date_gmt":"2020-11-18T03:21:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stories.mysecretdrawer.co\/2020\/11\/18\/masturbation-techniques-every-women-needs-to-know\/"},"modified":"2020-11-18T03:21:13","modified_gmt":"2020-11-18T03:21:13","slug":"masturbation-techniques-every-women-needs-to-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/masturbation-techniques-every-women-needs-to-know\/","title":{"rendered":"Masturbation Techniques Every Woman Needs To Know…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Netflix became a valued friend and adviser to countless millions during the course of the coronavirus lockdowns. From it, we learned that we need catchy theme music and a supportive group of good-looking, likeable people in our lives in order to be happy (Friends<\/em>). <\/p>

We also learned that we can tolerate anything for 10 seconds. Then we can start anew on another excruciating 10 seconds (The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt<\/em>).<\/p>

But the most illuminating Netflix lockdown lesson we\u2019ve streamed so far has nothing to do with attractive friends or how long we can endure torture.<\/p>

The lesson that we found most enlightening revealed that it doesn\u2019t take much to make Gwyneth Paltrow blush. Not more, in fact, than just a bit of explicit coaching on how to tone her pelvic floor.<\/p>

When the survival of humanity seems to be in question, things get put into perspective. Your priorities shift. Little details that would have been insignificant in pre-pandemic days mysteriously gain new and vital importance.<\/p>

The scene to which we refer was filmed for the Netflix reality series, \u201cThe Goop Lab.\u201d The show allows the viewer a documentary-like glimpse into Paltrow\u2019s millennial-friendly lifestyle business.<\/p>

In this particular scene, Paltrow\u2019s instructor was no less than Betty Dodson, the fine artist turned evangelist for female self-stimulation.<\/p>

Dodson \u2013 who passed away last October – was preaching the benefits of a Kegel-like exercise that she says can help trigger an orgasm.<\/p>

\u201cLift up, squeeze, release,\u201d she said, prompting Paltrow \u2013 who sells a $75 candle called This Smells Like My Vagina<\/em> – to blush as pink as any lovestruck teenager.<\/p>

\"\" — \u201cMasturbation is our first and natural form of sexual activity and if that’s inhibited or damaged, then we suffer for the rest of our lives.\u201d
– Betty Dodson<\/em><\/strong>, feminist and sex educator<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>
Getting Rid of the Masturbation Stigma<\/h2>
Paltrow\u2019s bashfulness is understandable. If anything, the unexpected truthfulness in her lovely turn of color reminds us that women just don\u2019t discuss wanking as comfortably as men do.<\/p>
Even in the midst of a highly-contagious global pandemic, female masturbation, arguably the safest sex act of all, is still a taboo subject for many. <\/p>
Women simply don\u2019t talk about it that much \u2013 unless, of course, they happen to be characters in *Sex in the City<\/em>.<\/p>*
*It\u2019s time we change that \u2013 for Ms. Paltrow\u2019s sake and for the sake of all women languishing alone in lockdown right now. <\/p>*
*Today, we\u2019ll try to shake off the persistent social stigma surrounding female self-stimulation with some basic masturbation tips for women. <\/p>*
$\"Female$
Female masturbation, arguably the safest sex act of all , is still a taboo subject for many women.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
Knowing Your Lady Parts<\/h3>
Of course, the first step towards successful self-stimulation is understanding your own body. Now, don\u2019t be discouraged by the fact that you may not know what to call all your parts. <\/p>
For our purposes, the first and most important step is getting to know how to \u2018use\u2019 them.<\/p>
That said, Lisa Lister, creator of wellness website The Sassy She, provides some simple, straightforward definitions in her book, *Love Your Lady Landscape<\/em>.<\/p>*
**Vulva<\/strong>: “This is the outer part of your lady landscape. It includes the clitoris, labia lips, urethra and entrance to the vagina, and its opening is almond shaped.”<\/p>**
Clitoris<\/strong>: “The bean-like bump you can see on the vulva is just the tip of the iceberg. This tiny erogenous zone spreads the feel-good-love to 15,000 other nerves in the pelvis, which explains why it feels like your whole body is being taken over when you orgasm.”<\/p>
**Vagina<\/strong>: “This is a pulsing muscle that opens and closes between the cervix – at the base of the uterus – and the external opening.”<\/p>**
$\"The$
The first step towards successful self-stimulation is understanding your own body.
(Photo: Marvin Chandra\/Flickr)<\/figcaption><\/figure>
Setting Up for the Escargot<\/h3>
With that in mind, psychologist Erica Landis and writer Annamarya Scaccia assert that ensuring a conducive setting and attitude can mean all the difference in your intimate explorations. Learning about yourself should be fun and comfortable, after all.<\/p>
\u201cThink about turning down the lights, lighting some candles, and listening to relaxing music to get the mood going,\u201d Landis and Scaccia advise. \u201cLet your mind fantasize about people or situations<\/a> that send tingles down your spine.\u201d<\/p>
Once you\u2019ve got the setting and the mindset right, it\u2019s time to get down to business. Strawberry Siren, former Miss Burlesque Australia, says a good way to familiarize yourself manually with your lady parts is by using the \u201cEscargot\u201d technique.<\/p>
\u201cStarting at the base of the vagina, lightly drag your fingertip at a snail\u2019s pace towards the clitoris,\u201d says Siren. \u201cMake sure you don\u2019t put your finger in too deep at this point, as you want to avoid touching the urethra.”<\/p>
$\"Psychologist$
Psychologist Erica Landis and writer Annamarya Scaccia assert that ensuring a conducive setting and attitude can mean all the difference in your intimate explorations.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
The Princess and the Pea<\/h3>
While masturbation doesn\u2019t have to lead to orgasm, there are a few things you can do to help your body achieve the Big O. The proper stimulation of the clitoris is obviously an important component of the process.<\/p>
Being the most nerve-rich part of the vulva, that part of the feminine pleasure anatomy contains over 8,000 nerve endings. That is twice as many as those in the male penis.<\/p>
Siren says you can put those nerve endings to good use with a simple clitoral-stimulation method she calls \u2018the Princess and the Pea\u2019 technique.<\/p>
\u201cMaking sure the tip of your finger is nice and moist, slowly pull the hood over the clitoris back and gently stroke the head of the clitoris,\u201d she says. \u201cYou may also want to use a small circular motion, depending on your preferences.”<\/p>
$\"Being$
Being the most nerve-rich part of the vulva, the clitoris contains over 8,000 nerve endings.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
Meet the Scissor Sisters<\/h3>
Don\u2019t despair if \u2013 like many \u2013 you\u2019re confused by the sheer variety of extraterrestrial-themed sex toys and neon dildos available online. Our experts think it’s best to go manual.<\/p>
Lister says that, while sex toys can be a good way to introduce newcomers to the art of self-pleasure, it’s best to avoid becoming dependent on them. \u201cThe real fun and pleasure come through when you use your fingers,\u201d she says.<\/p>
You can exercise them and ensure guitar-player dexterity using Siren\u2019s \u201cScissor Sisters\u201d technique. The method makes full use of two fingers, in particular: the index and middle. <\/p>
“Making a peace sign with your hands, place each finger on either side of the outer labia,\u201d says Siren. \u201cThen, while pressing down lightly, wiggle the fingers towards each other, squeezing and lifting the labia together between the two fingers.”<\/p>
You can, of course, use this technique in conjunction with your other hand \u2013 if you enjoy deeper, simultaneous exploration.<\/p>
$\"Experts$
Experts think it’s best to go manual.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
The Art of Edging<\/h3>
In the mood for solo sex with a more meditative Eastern flavor? Gender and development consultant Srushti Mahamuni suggests you try \u201cEdging.\u201d Be warned, however, that this particular technique is easier said than done.<\/p>
Use any of the masturbation techniques above – or do your own thing \u2013 and, as you approach orgasm, stop just before climax. Yes, stop.<\/p>
You can stop for a minute or an hour \u201cdepending on your patience level and what else you have planned for the day,\u201d says Mahamuni in an article for the *India Times<\/em>. Then, of course, you start again, approach and delay – repeating as many times as you like.<\/p>*
\u201cRemember to allow yourself to climax eventually and enjoy an intense, earth-shattering orgasm,\u201d says Mahamuni. \u201cIt\u2019s definitely more about the journey rather than the destination with this technique, although the destination feels delicious too.\u201d<\/p>
$\"Be$
Be as indulgent as possible, say sex educators.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
The point is to extend the pleasure which, as Lister points out, helps you appreciate the entire experience rather than simply racing for the finish line.<\/p>
\u201cBe as indulgent as possible,\u201d Lister advises. \u201cBy doing so, you\u2019ll build a better relationship with your own body and as a result, be able to have more confidence in a relationship to say exactly what you want and when.\u201d<\/p>
*(Feature Photo Credit: Amaurii Jimenez\/Flickr)<\/em><\/p>*
*<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"*
Even in the midst of a highly-contagious global pandemic, female masturbation, arguably the safest sex act of all, is still a taboo subject for many. It’s time we change that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":154,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[42,43,18],"tags":[124,211,111,61,212,112],"class_list":["post-153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-female-empowerement","category-lifestyle","category-solo-sex","tag-female-orgasm","tag-masturbation","tag-safe-sex","tag-self-care","tag-self-pleasure","tag-solo-sex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

\u201cMasturbation is our first and natural form of sexual activity and if that’s inhibited or damaged, then we suffer for the rest of our lives.\u201d
– Betty Dodson<\/em><\/strong>, feminist and sex educator<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>
Getting Rid of the Masturbation Stigma<\/h2>
Paltrow\u2019s bashfulness is understandable. If anything, the unexpected truthfulness in her lovely turn of color reminds us that women just don\u2019t discuss wanking as comfortably as men do.<\/p>
Even in the midst of a highly-contagious global pandemic, female masturbation, arguably the safest sex act of all, is still a taboo subject for many. <\/p>
Women simply don\u2019t talk about it that much \u2013 unless, of course, they happen to be characters in *Sex in the City<\/em>.<\/p>*
*It\u2019s time we change that \u2013 for Ms. Paltrow\u2019s sake and for the sake of all women languishing alone in lockdown right now. <\/p>*
*Today, we\u2019ll try to shake off the persistent social stigma surrounding female self-stimulation with some basic masturbation tips for women. <\/p>*
$\"Female$
Female masturbation, arguably the safest sex act of all , is still a taboo subject for many women.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
Knowing Your Lady Parts<\/h3>
Of course, the first step towards successful self-stimulation is understanding your own body. Now, don\u2019t be discouraged by the fact that you may not know what to call all your parts. <\/p>
For our purposes, the first and most important step is getting to know how to \u2018use\u2019 them.<\/p>
That said, Lisa Lister, creator of wellness website The Sassy She, provides some simple, straightforward definitions in her book, *Love Your Lady Landscape<\/em>.<\/p>*
**Vulva<\/strong>: “This is the outer part of your lady landscape. It includes the clitoris, labia lips, urethra and entrance to the vagina, and its opening is almond shaped.”<\/p>**
Clitoris<\/strong>: “The bean-like bump you can see on the vulva is just the tip of the iceberg. This tiny erogenous zone spreads the feel-good-love to 15,000 other nerves in the pelvis, which explains why it feels like your whole body is being taken over when you orgasm.”<\/p>
**Vagina<\/strong>: “This is a pulsing muscle that opens and closes between the cervix – at the base of the uterus – and the external opening.”<\/p>**
$\"The$
The first step towards successful self-stimulation is understanding your own body.
(Photo: Marvin Chandra\/Flickr)<\/figcaption><\/figure>
Setting Up for the Escargot<\/h3>
With that in mind, psychologist Erica Landis and writer Annamarya Scaccia assert that ensuring a conducive setting and attitude can mean all the difference in your intimate explorations. Learning about yourself should be fun and comfortable, after all.<\/p>
\u201cThink about turning down the lights, lighting some candles, and listening to relaxing music to get the mood going,\u201d Landis and Scaccia advise. \u201cLet your mind fantasize about people or situations<\/a> that send tingles down your spine.\u201d<\/p>
Once you\u2019ve got the setting and the mindset right, it\u2019s time to get down to business. Strawberry Siren, former Miss Burlesque Australia, says a good way to familiarize yourself manually with your lady parts is by using the \u201cEscargot\u201d technique.<\/p>
\u201cStarting at the base of the vagina, lightly drag your fingertip at a snail\u2019s pace towards the clitoris,\u201d says Siren. \u201cMake sure you don\u2019t put your finger in too deep at this point, as you want to avoid touching the urethra.”<\/p>
$\"Psychologist$
Psychologist Erica Landis and writer Annamarya Scaccia assert that ensuring a conducive setting and attitude can mean all the difference in your intimate explorations.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
The Princess and the Pea<\/h3>
While masturbation doesn\u2019t have to lead to orgasm, there are a few things you can do to help your body achieve the Big O. The proper stimulation of the clitoris is obviously an important component of the process.<\/p>
Being the most nerve-rich part of the vulva, that part of the feminine pleasure anatomy contains over 8,000 nerve endings. That is twice as many as those in the male penis.<\/p>
Siren says you can put those nerve endings to good use with a simple clitoral-stimulation method she calls \u2018the Princess and the Pea\u2019 technique.<\/p>
\u201cMaking sure the tip of your finger is nice and moist, slowly pull the hood over the clitoris back and gently stroke the head of the clitoris,\u201d she says. \u201cYou may also want to use a small circular motion, depending on your preferences.”<\/p>
$\"Being$
Being the most nerve-rich part of the vulva, the clitoris contains over 8,000 nerve endings.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
Meet the Scissor Sisters<\/h3>
Don\u2019t despair if \u2013 like many \u2013 you\u2019re confused by the sheer variety of extraterrestrial-themed sex toys and neon dildos available online. Our experts think it’s best to go manual.<\/p>
Lister says that, while sex toys can be a good way to introduce newcomers to the art of self-pleasure, it’s best to avoid becoming dependent on them. \u201cThe real fun and pleasure come through when you use your fingers,\u201d she says.<\/p>
You can exercise them and ensure guitar-player dexterity using Siren\u2019s \u201cScissor Sisters\u201d technique. The method makes full use of two fingers, in particular: the index and middle. <\/p>
“Making a peace sign with your hands, place each finger on either side of the outer labia,\u201d says Siren. \u201cThen, while pressing down lightly, wiggle the fingers towards each other, squeezing and lifting the labia together between the two fingers.”<\/p>
You can, of course, use this technique in conjunction with your other hand \u2013 if you enjoy deeper, simultaneous exploration.<\/p>
$\"Experts$
Experts think it’s best to go manual.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
The Art of Edging<\/h3>
In the mood for solo sex with a more meditative Eastern flavor? Gender and development consultant Srushti Mahamuni suggests you try \u201cEdging.\u201d Be warned, however, that this particular technique is easier said than done.<\/p>
Use any of the masturbation techniques above – or do your own thing \u2013 and, as you approach orgasm, stop just before climax. Yes, stop.<\/p>
You can stop for a minute or an hour \u201cdepending on your patience level and what else you have planned for the day,\u201d says Mahamuni in an article for the *India Times<\/em>. Then, of course, you start again, approach and delay – repeating as many times as you like.<\/p>*
\u201cRemember to allow yourself to climax eventually and enjoy an intense, earth-shattering orgasm,\u201d says Mahamuni. \u201cIt\u2019s definitely more about the journey rather than the destination with this technique, although the destination feels delicious too.\u201d<\/p>
$\"Be$
Be as indulgent as possible, say sex educators.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
The point is to extend the pleasure which, as Lister points out, helps you appreciate the entire experience rather than simply racing for the finish line.<\/p>
\u201cBe as indulgent as possible,\u201d Lister advises. \u201cBy doing so, you\u2019ll build a better relationship with your own body and as a result, be able to have more confidence in a relationship to say exactly what you want and when.\u201d<\/p>
*(Feature Photo Credit: Amaurii Jimenez\/Flickr)<\/em><\/p>*
*<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"*
Even in the midst of a highly-contagious global pandemic, female masturbation, arguably the safest sex act of all, is still a taboo subject for many. It’s time we change that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":154,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[42,43,18],"tags":[124,211,111,61,212,112],"class_list":["post-153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-female-empowerement","category-lifestyle","category-solo-sex","tag-female-orgasm","tag-masturbation","tag-safe-sex","tag-self-care","tag-self-pleasure","tag-solo-sex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}