{"id":137,"date":"2020-11-04T08:48:35","date_gmt":"2020-11-04T08:48:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stories.mysecretdrawer.co\/2020\/11\/04\/oh-no-are-you-sexually-repressed\/"},"modified":"2020-11-04T08:48:35","modified_gmt":"2020-11-04T08:48:35","slug":"oh-no-are-you-sexually-repressed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/oh-no-are-you-sexually-repressed\/","title":{"rendered":"Oh, no! Are you sexually repressed?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Think about it. When was the last time you experienced a fierce, carnal throb prickle your loins and travel through you like a jolt of electricity? When did you last experience an intense, achingly sweet, gnawing desire for someone?<\/p>

For most people, erotic musings prompt physical indications of excitement and anticipation. Lingering on these thoughts might even lead to masturbation \u2013 an altogether normal, healthy response, of course.<\/p>

For others, however, this is simply not the case. In fact, if you\u2019re dealing with sexual repression, even the word \u201csex\u201d could trigger embarrassment or shame.<\/p>

When people believe that their sexual desires are unusual, weird, or atypical, they tend to repress them. That\u2019s just human nature.<\/p>

Repressed people keep their desires to themselves – with perhaps Google or their god being the only other entities in the know. That isn\u2019t healthy.<\/p>

Many people live with overt and undeniable sexual repression. If you grew up in a highly conservative or religious environment, it just might be that you hold some distorted ideals about sex and sexuality. <\/p>

The same may be true for people who have undergone sexual trauma.<\/p>

\"When — When people believe that their sexual desires are unusual, weird, or atypical, they tend to repress them.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
The Consequences of Sexual Repression<\/h2>
Denied food or freedom, we can expect people to lash out in more or less predictable ways. While we cannot always say the same when sexuality is thwarted, psychologists and researchers say a few indicators might prove telling.<\/p>
\u201cSigmund Freud, one of the first to explore and write about the idea of sexual repression, cautioned that repressing sexual urges could have unwanted consequences,\u201d say Chicago-based sex therapist Jennifer Litner and writer Crystal Raypole in an article for *Healthline<\/em>.<\/p>*
*Some of these effects can have far-reaching implications for your emotional and physical well-being. Below are some of the most common symptoms of sexual repression.<\/p>*
1. Chronic pain and insomnia<\/h3>
The tension within your body may manifest itself as chronic neck, shoulder, hip or back pain. You may also suffer from chronic fatigue precisely because you are tense. <\/p>
Despite exhaustion, however, people who are sexually repressed sometimes have trouble sleeping, as well.<\/p>
The suppression of sexual desire means that we carry an excess of stifled energy. That energy eventually stagnates, sometimes turning into tension, insomnia, and nagging pain or discomfort. <\/p>
$\"The$
The tension within your body may manifest itself as chronic neck, shoulder, hip or back pain. <\/figcaption><\/figure>
2. Nervousness and irritability<\/h3>
Stagnant, repressed energy might also produce feelings of anxiousness and nervous irritability. You are not so much restless, or bored, as trying to ward off desire by submitting your smallest thoughts through a kind of subconscious sieve. <\/p>
That\u2019s not an easy \u2013 or pleasant \u2013 way to live.<\/p>
When not channeled properly, sexual energy can overload our bodies, making it difficult to stay grounded. Physicians in the Victorian era referred to this as \u201chysteria,\u201d a condition made manifest in erratic and exaggerated emotions.<\/p>
$\"Stagnant,$
Stagnant, repressed energy might also produce feelings of anxiousness and nervous irritability.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
3. Aggression<\/h3>
Sexual repression may at times result in aggression. In some cases, this might manifest itself in belligerence, rage, and even violence. <\/p>
Some of the clearest examples may be seen in ultra-religious countries where cases of rape, assault, and murder are frequent.<\/p>
In your own life, aggression may make itself apparent in other ways, such as when you become overly judgmental, argumentative, or short-tempered. <\/p>
Often, too, you\u2019ll direct your aggression toward people who have freer, more relaxed views about sex.<\/p>
\u201cWhen you begin associating sex with negative emotions from an early age, you could end up with some negative views toward people who freely express their sexuality,\u201d say Litner and Raypole. <\/p>
$\"Often,$
Often, you\u2019ll direct your aggression toward people who have freer, more relaxed views about sex.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
4. Erotic Dreams and Feelings of Guilt<\/h3>
If you\u2019re having dreams about sex or intimate contact with a person who isn\u2019t your partner, it is possible that you are sexually repressed. <\/p>
The more sexually repressed you are, the more prevalent and perverse your dreams will be.<\/p>
Now, having naughty dreams about your sexy co-worker isn\u2019t necessarily a bad thing. But if your upbringing has made such feelings taboo, you will most likely feel dirty, flawed, and hopelessly guilty. <\/p>
These feelings might make matters even more difficult for you by intensifying all other symptoms of repression you are experiencing.<\/p>
$\"The$
The more sexually repressed you are, the more prevalent and perverse your dreams will be. (Photo: Jonathan Koch\/Flickr)<\/figcaption><\/figure>
5. Nightmares<\/h3>
History is replete with stories that involve the appearance of spirits and demons in the dreams of people who are sexually repressed. One of the most infamous cases being that of the Ursuline nuns in Loudun<\/a>, in France, in 1634.<\/p>
Behavioral experts have argued that, in the minds of the guilt-ridden superstitious and sexually repressed, these so-called demons might represent what is \u201cbad\u201d and \u201cevil\u201d about sex.<\/p>
Nightmares about demons and spirits thus allow repressed people to escape personal responsibility for their desires. Subconsciously, you\u2019re simply substituting them with the belief that \u201cthe devil made you do it.\u201d Sure, yeah, of course he did. <\/p>
$\"Behavioral$
Behavioral experts have argued that, in the minds of the sexually repressed, demons might represent what is \u201cbad\u201d and \u201cevil\u201d about sex.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
6. A Lack of Interest in Sex<\/h3>
While a lack of interest in sex may not always hint at repression, a sustained and deep-seated disinterest might actually be an indication that you are sexually repressed.<\/p>
\u201cIf you feel ashamed of your sexual thoughts, you might struggle to acknowledge them without guilt,\u201d according to Litner and Raypole. \u201cSharing these desires with a partner, even someone you love and trust, might seem impossible.\u201d<\/p>
In other words, repression can make you feel guilty about enjoying sex, so you automatically tamp down on your desires. This can lead to sexual dysfunction and other difficult situations if you happen to be in a relationship.<\/p>
$\"If$
If you feel ashamed of your sexual thoughts, you might struggle to acknowledge them without guilt.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
7. Confused Sexual Boundaries<\/h3>
One of the more serious effects of sexual repression involves a difficulty in recognizing personal boundaries, say Litner and Raypole. <\/p>
Because of this, you may fail to create and enforce appropriate personal boundaries. That could be a problem for you and for others.<\/p>
Even when you want to say, \u201cNo,\u201d you might be unable to do so. On the other hand, if you believe you\u2019re absolutely entitled to sex, you\u2019ll fail to recognize the importance of consent and other people\u2019s boundaries.<\/p>
\u201cYou might have a hard time grasping what is and isn\u2019t okay when it comes to sex, in your own behavior or the behavior you accept from others,\u201d say Litner and Raypole.<\/p>
$\"One$
One of the more serious effects of sexual repression involves a difficulty in recognizing personal boundaries.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
First Steps Toward Dealing with Sexual Repression<\/h3>
Simply having an awareness of the signs of repression and how it affects you can help you take steps toward a remedy. That said, sex po<\/a>s<\/a>itivity<\/a> can help counter sexual repression.<\/p>
If you have reason to believe you\u2019re sexually repressed, it\u2019s vitally important that you get more comfortable with the idea of sex as a healthy activity.<\/p>
\u201cIt can also mean familiarizing yourself with sexual expression in books, films, and art,\u201d suggest Litner and Raypole. \u201cThere\u2019s always porn – including ethical or independent porn<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>
If you aren\u2019t into porn, you might find tamer, more toned-down explicit scenes in books and movies more to your liking. You don\u2019t really have to look for erotica – unless you feel it\u2019s right for you.<\/p>
Finally, you might consider working with a sex therapist. Some sex therapists specialize in religious-based repression. Others focus on helping people in the LGBTQ+ community.<\/p>
A quick internet search should help you find a sex therapist in your area. For such an intimate, personal topic, it\u2019s essential that you find a therapist that you trust.<\/p>
What’s your story? Why not share it with us by reviewing this post?<\/p>
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Many people live with overt and undeniable sexual repression. If you grew up in a highly conservative or religious environment, it just might be that you hold some distorted ideals about sex and sexuality.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":138,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17,43],"tags":[179,180,181,145,182,183],"class_list":["post-137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples","category-lifestyle","tag-anxiety","tag-chronic-pain","tag-guilt","tag-sexual-fantasies","tag-sexual-repression","tag-stress-and-tension"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=137"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/138"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

When people believe that their sexual desires are unusual, weird, or atypical, they tend to repress them.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
The Consequences of Sexual Repression<\/h2>
Denied food or freedom, we can expect people to lash out in more or less predictable ways. While we cannot always say the same when sexuality is thwarted, psychologists and researchers say a few indicators might prove telling.<\/p>
\u201cSigmund Freud, one of the first to explore and write about the idea of sexual repression, cautioned that repressing sexual urges could have unwanted consequences,\u201d say Chicago-based sex therapist Jennifer Litner and writer Crystal Raypole in an article for *Healthline<\/em>.<\/p>*
*Some of these effects can have far-reaching implications for your emotional and physical well-being. Below are some of the most common symptoms of sexual repression.<\/p>*
1. Chronic pain and insomnia<\/h3>
The tension within your body may manifest itself as chronic neck, shoulder, hip or back pain. You may also suffer from chronic fatigue precisely because you are tense. <\/p>
Despite exhaustion, however, people who are sexually repressed sometimes have trouble sleeping, as well.<\/p>
The suppression of sexual desire means that we carry an excess of stifled energy. That energy eventually stagnates, sometimes turning into tension, insomnia, and nagging pain or discomfort. <\/p>
$\"The$
The tension within your body may manifest itself as chronic neck, shoulder, hip or back pain. <\/figcaption><\/figure>
2. Nervousness and irritability<\/h3>
Stagnant, repressed energy might also produce feelings of anxiousness and nervous irritability. You are not so much restless, or bored, as trying to ward off desire by submitting your smallest thoughts through a kind of subconscious sieve. <\/p>
That\u2019s not an easy \u2013 or pleasant \u2013 way to live.<\/p>
When not channeled properly, sexual energy can overload our bodies, making it difficult to stay grounded. Physicians in the Victorian era referred to this as \u201chysteria,\u201d a condition made manifest in erratic and exaggerated emotions.<\/p>
$\"Stagnant,$
Stagnant, repressed energy might also produce feelings of anxiousness and nervous irritability.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
3. Aggression<\/h3>
Sexual repression may at times result in aggression. In some cases, this might manifest itself in belligerence, rage, and even violence. <\/p>
Some of the clearest examples may be seen in ultra-religious countries where cases of rape, assault, and murder are frequent.<\/p>
In your own life, aggression may make itself apparent in other ways, such as when you become overly judgmental, argumentative, or short-tempered. <\/p>
Often, too, you\u2019ll direct your aggression toward people who have freer, more relaxed views about sex.<\/p>
\u201cWhen you begin associating sex with negative emotions from an early age, you could end up with some negative views toward people who freely express their sexuality,\u201d say Litner and Raypole. <\/p>
$\"Often,$
Often, you\u2019ll direct your aggression toward people who have freer, more relaxed views about sex.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
4. Erotic Dreams and Feelings of Guilt<\/h3>
If you\u2019re having dreams about sex or intimate contact with a person who isn\u2019t your partner, it is possible that you are sexually repressed. <\/p>
The more sexually repressed you are, the more prevalent and perverse your dreams will be.<\/p>
Now, having naughty dreams about your sexy co-worker isn\u2019t necessarily a bad thing. But if your upbringing has made such feelings taboo, you will most likely feel dirty, flawed, and hopelessly guilty. <\/p>
These feelings might make matters even more difficult for you by intensifying all other symptoms of repression you are experiencing.<\/p>
$\"The$
The more sexually repressed you are, the more prevalent and perverse your dreams will be. (Photo: Jonathan Koch\/Flickr)<\/figcaption><\/figure>
5. Nightmares<\/h3>
History is replete with stories that involve the appearance of spirits and demons in the dreams of people who are sexually repressed. One of the most infamous cases being that of the Ursuline nuns in Loudun<\/a>, in France, in 1634.<\/p>
Behavioral experts have argued that, in the minds of the guilt-ridden superstitious and sexually repressed, these so-called demons might represent what is \u201cbad\u201d and \u201cevil\u201d about sex.<\/p>
Nightmares about demons and spirits thus allow repressed people to escape personal responsibility for their desires. Subconsciously, you\u2019re simply substituting them with the belief that \u201cthe devil made you do it.\u201d Sure, yeah, of course he did. <\/p>
$\"Behavioral$
Behavioral experts have argued that, in the minds of the sexually repressed, demons might represent what is \u201cbad\u201d and \u201cevil\u201d about sex.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
6. A Lack of Interest in Sex<\/h3>
While a lack of interest in sex may not always hint at repression, a sustained and deep-seated disinterest might actually be an indication that you are sexually repressed.<\/p>
\u201cIf you feel ashamed of your sexual thoughts, you might struggle to acknowledge them without guilt,\u201d according to Litner and Raypole. \u201cSharing these desires with a partner, even someone you love and trust, might seem impossible.\u201d<\/p>
In other words, repression can make you feel guilty about enjoying sex, so you automatically tamp down on your desires. This can lead to sexual dysfunction and other difficult situations if you happen to be in a relationship.<\/p>
$\"If$
If you feel ashamed of your sexual thoughts, you might struggle to acknowledge them without guilt.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
7. Confused Sexual Boundaries<\/h3>
One of the more serious effects of sexual repression involves a difficulty in recognizing personal boundaries, say Litner and Raypole. <\/p>
Because of this, you may fail to create and enforce appropriate personal boundaries. That could be a problem for you and for others.<\/p>
Even when you want to say, \u201cNo,\u201d you might be unable to do so. On the other hand, if you believe you\u2019re absolutely entitled to sex, you\u2019ll fail to recognize the importance of consent and other people\u2019s boundaries.<\/p>
\u201cYou might have a hard time grasping what is and isn\u2019t okay when it comes to sex, in your own behavior or the behavior you accept from others,\u201d say Litner and Raypole.<\/p>
$\"One$
One of the more serious effects of sexual repression involves a difficulty in recognizing personal boundaries.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
First Steps Toward Dealing with Sexual Repression<\/h3>
Simply having an awareness of the signs of repression and how it affects you can help you take steps toward a remedy. That said, sex po<\/a>s<\/a>itivity<\/a> can help counter sexual repression.<\/p>
If you have reason to believe you\u2019re sexually repressed, it\u2019s vitally important that you get more comfortable with the idea of sex as a healthy activity.<\/p>
\u201cIt can also mean familiarizing yourself with sexual expression in books, films, and art,\u201d suggest Litner and Raypole. \u201cThere\u2019s always porn – including ethical or independent porn<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>
If you aren\u2019t into porn, you might find tamer, more toned-down explicit scenes in books and movies more to your liking. You don\u2019t really have to look for erotica – unless you feel it\u2019s right for you.<\/p>
Finally, you might consider working with a sex therapist. Some sex therapists specialize in religious-based repression. Others focus on helping people in the LGBTQ+ community.<\/p>
A quick internet search should help you find a sex therapist in your area. For such an intimate, personal topic, it\u2019s essential that you find a therapist that you trust.<\/p>
What’s your story? Why not share it with us by reviewing this post?<\/p>
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Many people live with overt and undeniable sexual repression. If you grew up in a highly conservative or religious environment, it just might be that you hold some distorted ideals about sex and sexuality.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":138,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17,43],"tags":[179,180,181,145,182,183],"class_list":["post-137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples","category-lifestyle","tag-anxiety","tag-chronic-pain","tag-guilt","tag-sexual-fantasies","tag-sexual-repression","tag-stress-and-tension"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=137"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/138"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}