In August, Snctm hosted yet another -albeit smaller – gathering of eight couples \u201cin a secret and regal Manhattan residence.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The promoters billed the event as \u201can extremely exclusive, eminently curated, erotic cocktail and dinner series dedicated to the values of intellectual curiosity, erudition, and the voluptuary arts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The organizers posted armed security personnel at the door. These were augmented by a Board-certified physician and a medical team that performed rapid COVID 19 testing on attendees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEvery person, staff and guest alike, will be required to test negative in order to gain admittance,\u201d the party promotions group said in its website.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How promoters of sex parties intend to continue convincing people that a sex saturnalia is a good idea in the midst of a pandemic is one thing. Managing consent in such gatherings these days is quite another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many necessary and intelligent things have been said and written about consent in the #MeToo era. Much of it has assumed sex as an activity between two healthy adults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s a telling deficiency since practically every adult on the planet has fantasized about group sex at one point or another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some 95 percent of men and 87 percent of women<\/a> who participated in one recent study said they\u2019ve had multi-partner sex fantasies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many more have turned fantasy into reality. One in 8 men and one in 16 women said they\u2019ve actually participated in an orgy, according to the US National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One could easily assume that the more people are around, the less likely it will be that someone will cross boundaries. Who would do such a thing in the midst of a crowd – and with a deadly virus on the loose, too, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n You might imagine that people would intervene if and when lines are crossed. Moreover, those same people could serve as witnesses if someone decides to press charges later on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But some experts say that might not necessarily be the case.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To emphasize their point, they cite the \u201cbystander effect,\u201d which has been a staple of psychology textbooks since the late 1960s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The term refers to the theory in psychology that the more witnesses there are to a crime, the less likely the victims will receive help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps the most illustrative example of this social phenomenon took place during the murder of 28-year-old Kitty Genovese. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Genovese was raped and stabbed to death early one morning in March 1964 in front of her apartment building in New York City. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Two weeks after the murder, the New York Times<\/em> published an article claiming that 38 witnesses saw or heard the attack. Some of them were Genovese\u2019s own neighbors. Not a single one of them called the police or came to her rescue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The case has long since come to symbolize urban apathy in the United States. But psychologists today claim Genovese\u2019s neighbors failed to react because of something called \u201cdiffusion of responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That is, when there are more people around, each individual person feels less responsible for helping out in an emergency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Genovese\u2019s neighbors failed to help her not because they were oblivious to the young woman\u2019s horrific situation, but because each one fully expected that somebody else would.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is also the fact that so much goes on in an orgy that people might not even notice when a violation of consent has occurred. You may be in such a state of sensory overload you might not notice someone who is sick. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You may also fail to understand someone who is communicating a lack of consent. That is especially true if the signal for help is communicated non-verbally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSensory overload happens when you\u2019re getting more input from your five senses than your brain can sort through and process,\u201d say psychologist Dillon Browne and writer Kathryn Watson for Healthline. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMultiple conversations going on in one room, flashing overhead lights, or a loud party can all produce the symptoms of sensory overload.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s why crimes such as purse snatching and even strong-arm robbery can occur when we are in public places with large crowds around us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Often, criminals will use the crowd to not only find their victim, but to also make their getaway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rape is a terrible thing. No one should ever be subjected to sexual assault, non-consensual sex, or forced sexual activity of any kind. Throw a viral disease into that mix and things can get even more horrifying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n None of this is to suggest that sexual assault is commonplace in orgies \u2013 or that people who attend these gatherings are unlikely to care. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In fact, researchers have found that most people who have fulfilled their group sex fantasies say the experience was a positive one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But navigating consent in a group sex event during a pandemic poses a unique and difficult set of challenges. Members of clubs like Snctm might be able to enforce rapid COVID 19 testing for its events, but what of other groups? <\/p>\n\n\n\n The question of consent in an orgy is a complicated enough issue by itself. For those new to group sex, Kathryn Klement, an assistant professor of psychology at Bemidji State University, says a good place to start is with a guidebook.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She recommends The Ethical Slut<\/em> by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. That said, you might also want to get a lay of the land before you decide to become the lay of the land.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Try visiting a known establishment or club before you make a decision. Play the role of voyeur and watch what goes on. Read up on the pandemic and how you might at least try to protect people in a large sexual gathering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMost people don\u2019t have a script for group sex, so observation can provide you with a mental framework that will help guide you in the future should you decide you want to give it a try,\u201d says Justin Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute. \u201cThis will also give you a sense of the kinds of rules you should establish and the things you might need to take into account before you plan your own orgy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"n](\"http:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/12\/2020\/09\/MASQUERADE-William-Cordero-williamcordero.jpg\")
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(Photo: William Cordero\/williamcordero.com)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nOrgies in the Time of #MeToo and Coronavirus<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"One](\"http:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/12\/2020\/09\/GROUP-SEX-1-680x1024.jpg\")
The Bystander Effect<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
![\"Much](\"http:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/12\/2020\/09\/orgy-2.jpg\")
Sensory Overload and Communication<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
![\"So](\"http:\/\/mysecretdrawer.co\/stories\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/12\/2020\/09\/GROUP-Daniel-Gomez-flickr.jpg\")
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(Photo: Daniel Gomez\/Flickr)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nGetting the Lay of the Land<\/h3>\n\n\n\n